🖤 Borderline Personality Disorder 🖤
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Borderline Personality Disorder, shortened to BPD and also known as EUPD, is a highly stigmatized disorder. This carrd aims to lessen the stigma around the disorder and help people learn about it without having to encounter stereotypes and misconceptions during their research, no matter if it's for themselves or loved ones. In the case there is anything that could be worded better or sounds stereotypical, or if you'd just like to suggest additions, I can be contacted through discord (sorbiis).˙ •▪️ ⁓ 🌊🐚🌊 ⁓ ▪️• ˙

~ Glossary ~

• BPD •Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a Cluster B personality disorder where a person’s relationships with people, self-image and emotions are impaired. It's often described as having "no emotional skin" or "emotional third-degree burns" because of how intensely people with BPD feel their emotions. It's also often misdiagnosed or goes undiagnosed. While BPD is often accompanied by some other mental illnesses that can be managed with medication, BPD usually cannot be treated with medication alone. BPD does not inherently make you violent, abusive or manipulative. While yes, we could be MORE prone to it and falling down a path of abusive behavior, majority of the time that only happens as a result of lack of communication, not trying to improve the relationship and not setting up healthy boundaries. We can learn to not act on our impulses and thoughts if you help us through it and are kind to us, rather than insisting we're violent and manipulative. Keep in mind that we are suffering, and professionals have agreed that BPD is the most agonizing disorder to live with along with having hundreds of combinations at different severities, so we may be difficult to handle but things can improve with time and patience. BPD is very heavily stigmatized as is, even in a professional environment where they're meant to be safest. There are many therapists and psychiatrists with theories about the legitimacy of the disorder and refuse taking on patients with BPD, despite there being brain scans showing evidence of the disorder.• EUPD •EUPD (Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder) is another name for BPD but is less commonly used.• Cluster B •Cluster B is a group of personality disorders that are characterized by dramatic, overly emotional and unpredictable thinking or behavior. BPD is in that group, along with ASPD, HPD and NPD.• PwBPD •PwBPD is a short way of saying person/people with borderline personality disorder.• Splitting •Splitting is something majority of pwBPD experience. It refers to the change from black thinking to white thinking or white thinking to black thinking. This comes from pwBPD struggling to understand the concept of good and bad co-existing. For example, a pwBPD may see one person as evil and cruel, but another as a flawless angel who can do no wrong. Their own failures and flaws can cause them to label themselves as a horrible, worthless person who can't do anything right. When things go wrong, they might begin to lose hope or think that all the work they've done was for nothing. This can be applied to other people. Because of this sort of splitting, pwBPD are often perceived as overdramatic by others. Splitting may cause someone with BPD to act out irrationally and impulsively without considering the consequences of their actions which can hurt others and ruin relationships, make them ignore facts, logic, and reality, project onto others, act passive-aggressively or believe they are superior to others.• Devaluation •Devaluation is a type of splitting, otherwise known as black thinking. The pwBPD believes the person they're splitting on to be evil, uncaring, lying, completely flawed, worthless and many other negative traits. This thinking may not 100% be accurate, but the feelings should be taken seriously regardless because it feels very true to the person. This type of splitting is usually because their fear of abandonment was triggered or they were angered.• Idealization •Idealization is a type of splitting, otherwise known as white thinking. The pwBPD believes the person they're splitting on to be always perfect, completely flawless, an angel, a lifesaver, loving, nurturing and many other positive traits that can make it out to be as if they're crushing on the person when that is not the case. This thinking may not 100% be accurate, but the feelings should be taken seriously regardless because it feels very true to the person. This type of splitting can be caused by many things, typically all relating to the person being very nice and friendly towards them.• Dissociation •Dissociation is a coping mechanism by the brain that makes a person feel disconnected from their thoughts, feelings, memories or their sense of identity. This can make the person feel like they don't exist or the world around them doesn't exist. The time can seem to be going very slow or very quick. This can also be described as not feeling here or feeling foggy, blurry, etc. This dissociation can often turn into depersonalization and/or derealization.• Depersonalization •Depersonalization is a type of dissociation more related to the self. It gives the feeling of being heavily disconnected from your thoughts and actions, making you feel as if you're outside of yourself and your body and just simply observing your actions and thoughts from a distance.• Derealization •Derealization is a type of dissociation more related to the outside world. It gives the feeling of being heavily disconnected from the world around you, making you feel as if the world isn't real and like the people or things around you are foggy, lifeless, fake and dream-like. In worse and more serious cases, people may start to believe they're part of a simulation or are robots.• Favourite Person (FP) •A favorite person is someone who the pwBPD idealizes, wants to spend all their time with and usually see as flawless. This person can be anyone, including classmates, friends, family members and partners and can even be people you just met. The pwBPD is heavily emotionally dependent on them, relying on them for security and happiness. The fear of abandonment is usually much more intense with them. PwBPD can't choose who their FP is, leading to them getting attached to manipulative people or abusers much more easily. The pwBPD can get extremely jealous or angry when their FP spends time with or compliments another person. PwBPD can also start to mirror their FP, taking on their mannerisms, appearance and their opinions. This may sound like traits of an incredibly unhealthy relationship, but forming a close and special bond with an FP isn't impossible if you make sure to gently set boundaries and communicate. Being the FP of someone with BPD can be very stressful, and a lot of FPs aren't even aware of their status. If you find out you're someone's FP, understand that every little thing you do counts regardless of if it's bad or good.• Mirroring / Mimicking •Mirroring, otherwise known as mimicking, is when a pwBPD imitates a person's characteristics, behavior and traits. This comes from having a distorted self image. Lots of people would describe it as putting on many masks or being a court jester.• Object / Emotional Permanence •Object permanence is a concept in psychology that refers to the understanding that whether an object can be seen or not has no effect on whether it exists or not. This concept can also be applied to feelings, known as emotional permanence. When pwBPD stop seeing love from people, they start to feel hated or as if they were being dumb for believing someone can love them. This can be soothed by continuing to show love to the person and continuing patterns you've developed with them, even if it's just sending a simple "I love you" message to them everyday.

~ Symptoms ~

5 - 9 of the following are needed for diagnosis:1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.The first symptom of BPD is frantic efforts to avoid abandonment, no matter if it's real or assumed, due to how sensitive pwBPD are when it comes to abandonment. The assumption of abandonment alone can lead to changes in self image and behavior in the individual. Some things that can cause a pwBPD to assume abandonment include a therapist ending their session when the hour is over, someone is late to plans, someone cancels plans without warning, being left on read, being ignored and many other "small" things. PwBPD may believe that this implied abandonment means they are bad. It is thought that this intense fear comes from an intolerance of being alone and feeling the need to have people with them. Some of the frantic efforts include self harming or attempting suicide, or making threats to do so.2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.The second symptom, simply put, is black and white thinking in relationships. PwBPD commonly have patterns of unstable and intense relationships, meaning their relationships fluctuate between all good and all bad depending on the day, as pwBPD struggle to see a grey area. Upon meeting new people, pwBPD tend to idealize who they met, demand to spend a lot of time together and start to share personal things very early on into the relationship. However, the pwBPD can easily start to devalue them too, believing that the other person doesn't care, give, or isn't there enough. The switching between idealization and devaluation can appear to be very sudden and out of nowhere, and are commonly viewed as "overdramatic" and "unreasonable." Regardless, these feelings are very real to the pwBPD and it is crucial for these feelings to be taken seriously and communicated instead of being dismissed.3. Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.The third symptom of BPD is struggling with identity disturbance. PwBPD often have sudden and dramatic shifts in how they view themselves and can change their goals, values, career, gender and sexual identities and what sort of friends they want out of nowhere and quite frequently. They can also tend to change their role in their relationships from being the caretaker to the person to being taken care of by the person or vice versa. PwBPD tend to have a negative self image, claiming to be bad or evil, but sometimes they claim they do not feel like they exist at all. This feeling of nonexistence can arise when the pwBPD feels a lack of meaningful relationships, nurturing and support. This identity disturbance usually has a negative impact on school or work.4. Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating).The fourth symptom is a display of impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging. PwBPD may gamble, spend money irresponsibly, binge eat, abuse substances, engage in unsafe sex or drive recklessly.5. Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior.The fifth symptom is a display of recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures or threats, or self-mutilating behavior. Recurrent suicidality is often the reason why pwBPD seek help. These self-destructive acts are usually triggered by threats of separation or by overwhelming expectations such as increased responsibility. Self-mutilation may occur during dissociative experiences and often brings relief by reaffirming the ability to feel or by easing the individual's sense of being evil because they "paid" for their evil actions.6. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).The sixth symptom is, simply put, mood swings. These mood swings can last a few hours or sometimes a few days, and can be really intense and sudden. The bad feelings of dysphoria, irritability and anxiety can be disrupted by sudden anger, panic and even more intense despair. These episodes are rarely relieved by things improving.7. Chronic feelings of emptiness.The seventh symptom is chronic emptiness. PwBPD tend to feel unsatisfied very easily and start to look for new things to do until they get bored of it again, causing them to constantly seek stuff out to do and leaving old projects unfinished.8. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).The eighth symptom is displaying "inappropriate" and intense anger due to a lack of control over that anger. PwBPD express their anger in many ways, including physical fights, extreme sarcasm, showing bitterness, verbal outbursts or ghosting. This anger is often caused when a person they know is viewed as neglectful, uncaring or abandoning. These expressions of anger are often followed by shame and guilt, and often increasing the person with BPD's belief of being "evil."9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.The ninth and last symptom is paranoia and dissociation during periods of extreme stress. These episodes are usually in response to real or imagined abandonment, and the paranoia and/or dissociation can last for minutes up to hours. The real or imagined nurturance from the person sometimes eases these feelings again.

~ Causes of BPD ~

• Genetics •Genes may make people more vulnerable to developing BPD. A study found that if one child that's a twin had BPD then the other child has a 2/3 chance to develop BPD too. Other than that, there is currently no known gene for BPD, so it's not known for sure if genes have a part.• Brain Development •Researchers have used MRIs to study the brains of people with BPD. MRI scans have revealed that in people with BPD, 3 parts of the brain were smaller or had unexpected amounts of activity. The parts are:➤ The amygdala - this part of the brain plays an important role in emotional regulation, as it's heavily associated with fear, aggression and anxiety.➤ The hippocampus - this part of the brain helps regulate behavior and self control➤ The orbitofrontal cortex - this part of the brain is involved when planning and making decisions• Environmental Factors •A number of environmental factors seem to be common causes, including:➤ Being a victim of abuse➤ Being neglected➤ Being exposed to long-term fear and distress➤ Being abandoned by friends, lovers and family

~ BPD types ~

Keep in mind that pwBPD are able to fit into multiple of these types or fluctuate between them! Just because they fit them all or don't fit any doesn't mean they don't have BPD.• Discouraged •People with discouraged BPD usually have difficulty making up their minds, have a strong need to be around others, have intense internal anger that's bottled until it explodes and can act out if they feel the need to defend themselves or like they're not being heard. They are more likely to engage in self-mutilation and suicide. Their BPD symptoms are kept inside until they burst out. They may find themselves relating to the following:➤ "I easily attach to others emotionally."➤ "It's hard for me to abide by a commitment without input from someone else."➤ "I require someone or something else for support (financial, emotional, etc.)"➤ "I hold my anger inside until I explode if pressured."➤ "I'm likely to hurt myself."• Impulsive •People with impulsive BPD usually focus on the surface of things, are flirtatious, have high energy, lose interest in people or things easily and act without thinking. They may find themselves relating to the following:➤ "I am flirtatious to get the attention of someone else."➤ "I like to find exciting experiences."➤ "I have a lot of energy."➤ "I'm easily bored."➤ "Once I start something I cannot stop."• Petulant •People with petulant BPD usually are quick at expressing annoyance, have difficulty waiting for their turn, are easily frustrated and view the world as harmful and negative. They may find themselves relating to the following:➤ "People have a hard time determining what my next move is."➤ "I'm easily annoyed or made angry."➤ "I have a hard time waiting for others."➤ "I tend not to change my attitude or opinion, especially when there are good reasons to do so."➤ "I tend to see the worst sides of things or believe that the worst will happen."• Self-destructive •People with self-destructive BPD usually have difficulty making decisions, remain undecided about things, behave without thinking, hurt themselves physically and have very low self esteem. Out of all types, they fear abandonment the most. They may find themselves relating to the following:➤ "I tend to act without thinking things through."➤ "It's hard for me to make a decision."➤ "I tend to apologize if someone is being aggressive towards me."➤ "I dislike myself intensely."➤ "I engage in dangerous activities, even if it means I'm likely to get hurt."

~ Boundaries ~

There are many boundaries one should set with or as a pwBPD. This page is meant to help you get started with setting up boundaries and give ideas to discuss.• Tone •PwBPD are hypersensitive to tone, especially to their FP's tone, and as a result they get anxious and paranoid easily. When your tone changes (going from joking to seriousness especially), or if you think something you're about to write could come off in a way you don't mean, please specify with tone tags.• Jokes •FPs are a very serious and emotional thing for pwBPD. Do NOT joke about them unless given explicit consent by the pwBPD, especially if you're the FP or if they just let you know they have one. Other parts of the disorder shouldn't be joked about either unless given permission by the person you're talking to.• Obsession •FP obsession can be exhausting on both sides or even for someone watching it happen from the outside. If it ever gets too much or uncomfortable, communicate with each other. More often than not, the pwBPD does not realize nor understand when too much is too much when it comes to their FPs.• Communication •If "dealing with" a pwBPD becomes too much, please communicate that to the pwBPD KINDLY. We don't ever want you to feel overwhelmed or upset, and will do anything to make the situation better. Please come to us with ideas on how to improve and make sure you will be able to handle reassuring us if we take it too badly.

~ Self help and advice ~

• Therapy •If it's in your capability, the best thing to do is attempt to seek out a therapist or a BPD specialist. In therapy, the following will be used (if you are unable to go to therapy, feel free to look into these and try to apply them yourself!):➤ Psychoanalysis➤ Jungian therapy➤ Self psychology➤ Object relations➤ Transactional analysis➤ Behavioral therapy➤ Cognitive therapy➤ Exposure therapy➤ Art therapy➤ Music therapy➤ Family system therapy➤ Strategic family therapy➤ Dyadic developmental therapy➤ Contextual therapy➤ CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy)➤ ACT (acceptance and commitment therapy)➤ DBT (dialectical behavior therapy)➤ CPT (cognitive processing therapy)➤ REBT (rational emotive behavior therapy)➤ SIT (stress inoculation therapy)

• HELP steps •When you...

H - Have intense emotions, thoughts and memories,
E - Exit the situation or consider another solution,
L - Let someone help you if they offer or ask about it,
P - Pursue help from trusted people if you can't calm yourself down.

• Identifying patterns and consequences •Take some time to yourself and figure out what sort of patterns of behavior you have and what the consequences for them are. Choose one pattern, write the benefits you gain from it and then think hard about the long term consequence of that pattern. For example, if you have a pattern where you constantly call someone, leave a bunch of messages for them, give them a bunch of gifts and become a pushover, then some benefits you gain are they will most likely want you and stay with you, but the long term consequence is the person on the receiving end may feel suffocated and overwhelmed and you may not feel satisfied because you have no time for yourself and use all your money on them. Developing this awareness can help you rationalise yourself.• Identifying triggers •Triggers for BPD are put into 8 categories:➤ Emotional state: emotions such as depression, anxiety, anger, fear and embarrassment.➤ Physical state: physical sensations such as restlessness, boredom, tiredness and hunger.➤ Presence of others: people in your life who are good or bad influences.➤ Availability: the means to engage in self destructive behavior, such as having drugs, razors or other things.➤ Physical setting: places such as home, school, work and parties.➤ Social pressure: FOMO caused by loved ones who use drugs and alcohol, engage in self harm or dare and tempt you into doing harmful things.➤ Activities: things you have to do such as working out, school responsibilities, work or running errands.➤ Thoughts and memories: flashbacks, catastrophizing, splitting and so on.After identifying what categories your triggers fall into, you can use mindfulness or make a "let it out" list.• "Let It Out" list •The LIO list is helpful for releasing all your emotions and then finding healthier ways to deal with them.➤ Find a place where you can have privacy.➤ Open an app you can use to write or get a piece of paper and pen(cil.)➤ Write everything that comes to mind with your triggers.➤ Don't edit your list, don't worry about spelling or grammar or using the right tenses, don't worry about keeping it clean and organized, just focus on getting it out.➤ Put everything that comes to mind on that list, let it all flow and don't hold back.➤ Do this until you've exhausted yourself and can't think of more to add.➤ After that, start thinking of another way to respond to the trigger that is helpful instead of self destructive.➤ Apply this response next time. If it doesn't help, repeat this process.• Break time •This strategy is about stepping away and taking a break from anything that has upset or triggered you. When you've been triggered, you should step away for 5-10 minutes and gather your thoughts and separate what happened from what you think happened. For example, if someone didn't respond, you may assume they're ignoring you when all that really happened is they didn't respond. The lack of response could be due to other reasons like being busy or not seeing the notification. So it's best to take a few minutes to yourself and remind yourself of things like that.• Comparison list •For this list you can use an app or a piece of paper. This'll be used to help rationalize thoughts about people and you can look at when you're splitting. Create three columns, one labelled "good", "bad" and then "neutral." In the good column, write down everything good that happens with the person and how it made you feel. In the bad column, write down everything bad that happens with the person and how it made you feel. In the neutral column, write down anything that is both good and bad and why you see it as both bad and good. Next time you feel yourself entering white or black thinking, look at the list and make sure you are thinking rationally about them.• Strategic distraction •When you feel like self harming or need to calm down, you can use strategic distraction to help. Some distractions can be reading, going on walks, calling a loved one, watching things, listening to music and anything else that makes you feel happy and relaxed.• Venting journal •A venting journal can be useful for many reasons, such as noticing your triggers, getting out how you truly feel without judgement and figuring out how things could have went better. Some prompt suggestions are:➤ "I was triggered when..."➤ "In the situation I (thought/felt/wanted)..."➤ "Right now, I feel..."➤ "Before, during and after, I felt..."➤ "In the end, I want..."➤ "It would be different if..."➤ "I would feel better if..."➤ "This situation brought up ... from the past"➤ "This situation taught me..."

~ Facts and statistics ~

• Facts •➤ Clinicians have the right to turn away BPD patients.➤ Legal assisted suicide is available to those with BPD due to how agonizing it is.➤ PwBPD experience pain similar to how others feel when losing a loved one every single day over things that seem minor to other people (like not saying 'I love you too', getting accused of stuff and not getting praised.)➤ After episodes, pwBPD most likely won't remember it well and seem to bounce back very quickly.• Statistics•➤ 65-70% of pwBPD make at least 1 suicide attempt➤ 10% of patients with BPD complete suicide➤ Self-injury (cutting, burning, bruising, head-banging, biting) is seen in 75% of patients